yeah i understand your frustrations... the hobby sometimes feels like a job.
plate solving is pretty much the holy grail of astro-imaging. if you can use a capture package that supports solve/sync, you'll be really happy. it takes a little bit of work to get it set up, but it's well worth it. i use SGP, which now comes with Platesolve2. when you create a target, if you tell SGP to center on the target it will automatically slew, take an image, solve it, and then re-slew to get the coordinates perfectly in the center of your sensor. and SGP has its own mosaic planner tool which does cost extra, but it will let you design a mosaic graphically and then just create a plan with all the panes already entered for you.
barring that, you can look into Astrotortilla, which is free. it is a wrapper for Astrometry.net. the AT installer guides you thru installing all the stuff you'll need to solve images. if at the start of the night you do a single solve and sync with astrotortilla, the pointing should be good enough all night after that. you just need to take care that the "use RCAL for SYNC" option is turned on in the AP driver - issuing a SYNC to an AP mount while the counterweights are up is pretty fatal - the next slew will point from under the pier. however if you enable the sync->rcal translation in the driver, that can never happen.
and barring that, if you just slew to a star for which you know the coordinates, you can then manually fix the pointing and issue a rcal from the hand controller.
one way or another you should be able to get the pointing to be accurate enough that you won't have to mess around pointing "by hand"
rob